


3. The Final Message

by seekingferret



Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Adams
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, Gen, Jewish Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-23
Updated: 2010-02-23
Packaged: 2017-10-07 12:11:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/65035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekingferret/pseuds/seekingferret
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hoped to finish my Rambam Space AU in time for this, but if I can't make it work, IOU 1 Rambam Space AU story.</p></blockquote>





	3. The Final Message

**Author's Note:**

  * For [miarr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/miarr/gifts).



When the people of the Milky Way Galaxy first heard that God's Final Message to His Creation was being displayed, in thirty-foot-high letters of fire on top of the Quentulus Quazgar Mountains in the land of Sevorbeupstry on the Planet Preliumtarn, third out from the sun Zarss in Galactic Sector QQ7 ActiveJ Gamma, the Jews of the Galaxy were among the first to seek it out.

They'd been waiting a long time for the final revelation. They'd waited through thousands of years of false Messiahs, from the sheepish charlatans of Earth to the more brazen fakery of Ergol Mantara and briefly, before he'd decided that running for President sounded like more fun, Zaphod Beeblebrox. It was time, already. They were tired of things being not quite hoopy, just a hair shy of froody.

This was something that all Jews agreed upon, regardless of their other issues with each other. They got together and had huge convocations and one Jew would say to the other, "Nu, Yossele? You have anything to say to me?" And the other Jew would say back, "No. You pretty much covered it." Two Jews who couldn't even agree on whether bagels or pita were the preeminent Jewish bread product, and yet they agreed that it was about time that God deliver his final message to his People! We're talking serious theological unity here!

It was decided in this grand show of unity that every Jewish sect would send a representative. So all but 17 Jews piled into a spaceship and before you could say "Pass the matzo brei," they were on their way to the Quenulus Quazgar Mountains.

Their spaceship set down in the Great Red Plain of Rars, which was bounded on the south side by the Quentulus Quazgar Mountains, and the stream of Jews debarked from the ship. Ashkenazim and Sephardim, Ultra-Orthodox and Reconstructionists, Chasidim and Misnagdim, Feminists and Chauvinists, Humans and Vogons and Aldebarans and Golgafrinchans, all made their slow process through the Great Plain toward the Mountains on a path that was not as well-worn as it would be when, years later, Arthur Dent and Fenchurch took the same route on the same quest.

There were no stone huts with showers and sanitary facilities to make the going any easier, but they were at heart a desert people and nobody dropped out of the quest because of the intense heat baking down on the Great Red Plain. They sang songs in a thousand languages, giving the Babelfish in their ears a feast the likes of which it had never experienced. Their songs spoke of Moses and his people in the Wilderness of Sinai, of Jeremiah searching for water in a spiritual wilderness, of centuries of oppression and the joy these Jews had taken in overcoming it.

Then they reached the foothills of the Quentulus Quazgar mountains and began their steady climb toward God's Final Message and their songs began to shift in tone. They sang Psalms of praise, the words of the King David. In the mouth of some, the words resounded with happiness and wonder. In other mouths, the same words bit with irony and humor. They were all the same Psalms, because just like at Har Sinai, this was one people.

Their ascent continued, the swell of emotions intensifying. Curiosity, excitement, doubt, fear, anger, perversity, anticipation, every Jew had their own reason to be here and their own mix of feelings about this moment. Their songs continued to unify until, as they approached the summit beyond which they'd be able to see the Message, every Jew on the trip was singing "Am Yisrael Chai,"  
  
They reached the summit and one Jew after another saw God's Final Message to His Creation and as each one saw it, they smiled and thought the same thought. It might have manifested in different words, or with different connotation, but they all thought the same thing: "Finally, a message just for us."

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped to finish my Rambam Space AU in time for this, but if I can't make it work, IOU 1 Rambam Space AU story.


End file.
